grey

What is it with
the could’ve, would’ve, should’ves
that leave me so froze?
Is it tension from the tenses,
like who I am is just stranger in those
stranger like danger,
maybe simply unknown
or stranger like strange but just more so
could be both, I don’t know

Give me the space
I’m trying to elaborate

I haven’t moved a muscle
but my mind’s on the double
I can’t see straight
I’m feeling kind of dizzy as I dissociate
Now I watch from above
Yet in the same place, I’m stuck
real low & damn dark
in the gutter with the mud

Same pose
same mood, same mode
the same old frame of mind
like inside four walls
and there’s no windows
just mirrors
just fears
strictly negative narratives here.

Desperate to find my way
Still missin’ the will, too broke to pay
Is there any way at all we could still make a trade?

Oh, what I would do for a clear view
What’s keeping my hue
this shade of grey?