Note to Self: Easy Does It.
So you got your vision down now. A vision that makes you feel proud to hold, and empowered & praiseworthy to be able to bring it to life in the real world. It feels so right, progress with it feels like true providence, you’re steady hummin’ when it’s happenin’, but the process isn’t always so forgiving. Growth can be very erratic, and at times our long-awaited steps forward can feel totally dejected when we’re given no choice but to step back and direct our energy elsewhere.
Note: It’s impossible to remain composed and rush at the same time.
Rushing is an anxiety-ridden behavior, and being in such a rush to make things happen, you forget your still.
To avoid negative feelings about our place in the world and our contribution within it, we can develop an obsession over the two. In obsession, actions are performed out of the fear of losing our grip, balance, and/or peace of mind. Obsessive behavior is a typical symptom of an insecure attachment. You tend to obsess over your projects because you’re attached to this image of you and your art/work being this steady source of wisdom & inspiration, and you’re afraid of not living up to that image.. Listen, don’t let this beautiful noble vision become a pacifier for your needy ego.
I know how easy it is to get caught up in the thoughts that you’re not doing enough, or not dedicated enough. Our inner-cynic will spin us like a top if we let it. We’re compelled to close the gap between where things are at and where we aspire them to be, and that’s okay, but there’s no good reason to feel shame or guilt when things aren’t happening at the pace we expected them to.
This mission-crafted vision was supposed to help you keep your still and build yourself some real esteem, but lately, it seems like your mood and attitude depend too much upon the success and progress of this dream, which makes it hard to take a step back without feeling tense and distracted. You feel insecure because you think that you don’t have enough to show for it all, so you think that producing more content will help you feel more secure & proud, and therefore feel less shame.
I see you dude, and I feel for ya, but don’t be so desperate for relevance, you should never have to sacrifice your composure for it, you’re just begging to be disappointed. Self-respect & gratification doesn’t just come from what you do, or how much you’re viewed or praised, okay? The real problem here isn’t with your esteem, it’s with your humility.
“Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.” — Uncle Iroh.
Many people confuse and misrepresent humility. It’s not about debasing & degrading yourself before a greater power, it’s about bringing a sense of gratitude and grace to your experience and your being. True humility invokes feelings of fortune with respect to one’s place in Life and the opportunities that are presented despite any lack thereof. To be truly humble means being authentically content with your nature — despite any & all flaws, shortcomings, and imperfections.
You’re doing too much out of fear and obligation. Try this, instead of trying to give yourself more face, try to create more harmony. Humility tells us that fulfillment is not about the content nor the glory, it’s about the quality of our service & our composure. It calls us to do what brings a greater harmony & union to our life & our environment.
It’s art dude. It’s what you make it. No need to be forceful — nice and easy does it.
Steady hummin’.
Bless,
— T